Thursday, August 16, 2012

What's on my {heart}

My last post was from almost two weeks ago! - I took a little bit of a break, did some reflecting, and am hopefully comin' back a new and improved woman! I think when too much is on my plate, on my mind, I pull at whatever strings I can to gain inspiration, which leave me feeling disingenuous and that  maintaining this blog and trying to turn what I love doing into a job becomes more of a chore- which is the opposite of what I wanted to happen.

I'm hoping these recent changes that I've been facing are positive - thank you all for the kind and inspiring words when I've posted somewhat negative tweets, facebook statuses, and even the few of you that noticed I was absent from the blog for a while!

What causes a person to change?

Sometimes it takes a tragic event, a life milestone, or even that moment of absolute epiphany.
...and other times, change takes place for seemingly no reason at all.

Im' not talking about a bold new haircut or the getting a tattoo type of change...but more of a change within your soul.

A change that may not even be noticeable to those closest to you, but a change so big, and at times so over whelming that it's virtually unexplainable.

Lately, I feel like things have been changing inside of me.

I'm less outspoken than I once was.
Instead of giving my two cents (sometimes it's more like 5 or 10 cents!) in every situation, I've become more of a listener, wanting to be more of an observer.

My heart seems to be growing - and it feels as big as ever - once partially hardened by a job that is surrounded by negativity and reality - now my heart longs to help people, anyone.

I don't know if it's just "part of growing up"... if this "change" is something that I should have experienced sooner. Perhaps I wasn't ready to deal with the huge change, and that's why it's happening now...this go around, I'm not going to be my usual "control every situation" self, and I'm going to ride this one out.

This change has been a difficult one to swallow - at times leaving me feeling almost feels bigger than me. But instead of letting these changes swallow me whole, I want to grab the reigns and use them to take everything I can from life, and give even more back.

Linking up


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