Saturday, May 12, 2012

Mother's Day - and the Woman I'm becoming

Rewind two years - June 2010.
I was newly engaged, your typical ultra-picky "my way or the highway" bride. Every detail of our wedding was planned, and there was no room for error. My days were scheduled to the hour, I had a very specific routine, and there was hardly ever any room to budge. I worked to keep a very clean house, and everything had its place.

Then....a trip to the local Walgreens on a sunny day took place and those two pink lines changed everything!

 The next months were full of "what ifs" and tears of both fear and excitement. We had a wedding planned in 5 months! Neither me or my husband had ever changed a diaper, let alone raised a child. This was a surprise that turned our worlds upside down.

Were we fit to be parents?

Were we "done" being spontaneous "crazy young kids"?

Did I want to be the "controversial pregnant bride"? 

All of those questions seemed to kind of fade away once we saw our little peanut on the ultrasound and everything became real. A beating heart, some slight fluttery movements, and he had our heart at only 8 weeks into his long journey!

 Fast Forward - Winter 2010. 
Our wedding was a fairytale (and I wouldn't have changed a thing....except perhaps being able to fit into my dream dress), and now we were in baby mode. Words that were "happy hour", "spontaneous", and "all-nighter", had now been replaced with "stroller", "swaddling", and "all-nighter" now referred to sleepless nights taking care of baby, not out with friends.

 That shock and feeling of unpreparedness (which was NOT my thing, I liked to plan out the events of my life remember?) that took place when we saw those two pink lines had suddenly come back.

What were we going to do with a little crying baby?
Would he love us?
Would I be a good mother?
Would we....and then, in a whirlwind of events, we welcomed our little baby boy on January 7, 2011....and my world changed forever.

 Having Noah has changed me as a person more in the 16 months he has been our son than I had been willing to change in the 25 years I have been on this world.

Things that were so important to me, like having a spotless house, scheduling out each minute of my day, and being so much of a perfectionist seemed to become small matters. I found myself caring more about enjoying time with Noah and Mike than having a perfectly kept house. I traded in a long morning hair/makeup routine for extra snuggle time and a lower maintenance look, and I even started rearranging my time to allow for plenty of "free" time to do fun things with my family.

 Everyday I grow, and will continue to strive to be the best momma,friend,wife,and person I can be. That doesn't mean I won't mess up, or that I won't stress out about the "little things", but for now, a few reminders to help remember...'s ok to skip laundry (or dishes, or dusting) and lounge on the couch for a little Yo Gabba Gabba break.'s ok to have your very own kareoke session in the car (even if those cars next to you stop and stare) because it is the only thing you can do to make your child laugh.

Sometimes...caving in to your little boy's balloon addiction is ok to avoid a tantrum (plus, hearing him say "bawooooon" is reason enough)'s ok to skip something on your "schedule" to take advantage of the sun and swing in the park. will go to work with Cheerios in your hair, or left over banana on your shirt...but the morning time snuggles were totally worth it.

 Sometimes...getting home in time for dinner (or in time to dress up like super heroes) with the family is more important than working late in the office.

And All of the Time....things won't go as planned, you'll even be late to things once in a while, and you learn to just laugh it off. Life is too short not to enjoy those moments.

Happy Mothers Day to all of you mothers out there!

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